“That shouldn’t be a problem, please proceed.” was the understanding receptionist’s response at the indoor swimming pool to my croaky-voiced question about whether I could take a picture of the temperature chart for the pools – so that, if I’d really end up being sick and bedridden in the coming days, I could at least think back wistfully and with a grin about how warm and wonderful it would have been at the pools, and how warm and wonderful it might be when I return to that place in good health.
That’s how it is for me with disappointments and sobering realizations: When long-held and desired ideas or plans are finally put into action, only for reason to suddenly make itself heard to let me step firmly on the brake pedal. Frustration, annoyance – bargaining, ignoring. One of my rather dubious talents is that I can equip a certain kind of anticipation with an unspeakable level of opacity, reliably covering up everything unpleasant. Just like here. Until, in addition to the fatigue I had pushed aside for half a day, a general feeling of coldness set in. Then a hoarse voice and a runny nose. Too obvious to not connect the dots.
So, here I stand. Right at the finish line. Surrounded by warm indoor pool air and the smell of chlorinated water. I’d love nothing more than to go get changed, but afterward… it would certainly become even more unpleasant. Honestly, I almost have to laugh. The fact that reason has prevailed so narrowly – and, by my standards, actually quite quickly too – is something that hasn’t happened to me very often before. I have to smile wistfully. A non-athlete finally wants to do something in that direction again, and then this. Well, then it ends up being the same old compromise again. Humor as the savior. Me, the one-trick pony. An evergreen of coping with life. Time to let the pools go.
I frame the shot, adjust my winter hat, press the shutter. With a sentimental smile I inhale the smell of that place for a final time only to head back home again – to actually spend almost an entire week there being sick.
I’ll be back. The second time will be even better than this first, humble encounter.