Since our blog has existed, I can’t recall that it took me that much time to write a blog post. Actually there are many reasons for this. Of course there’s the usual unexpected demands of everday life but the main reason is the lingering echo of my wonderfully colorful and surreal summer vacation this year. Which will be the focus of my blog post today.
I’ve been struggling for almost a week now to find a suitable title for my entry. Which word, sentence, term or even memory would reflect my state of mind best? What would mirror my experiences the most? What would most effectively revive old memories if I were to re-read this blog post again in a few years? Definitely something not easygoing.
After a while it was the word “fine” that clicked with me and it’s yet again quite fascinating how much time it took to emerge from my mind. I like the multilingual ambiguity and colorful nuances of this word. The benevolent “fine” from English and the “fine” from Italian (most familiar from the credits of old Italian films).
And yes. It’s indeed a benevolent end that is hear now. An end of a magnificent and so very unique summer vacation I shared with a guest and friend from Japan: my former host mother from Japan, with whom I stayed during my last two trips to Japan.
How often do we say, “If you’re ever in the area or on my continent, please let me know so we can at least meet up for a quick Hello!” And how often do those words remain just polite gestures, with no real follow-through? It’s rare that such words lead to an actual get-together.
But so it happened and soon plans and ideas began to spread and blossom and we came up with the idea to do both some tour through and around Austria and Germany and a few more days around the lake district over here around my hometown. A clasic Win-Win situation, so to say. My guest would explore many new and unknown places and I would finally see many places too, which I, as an Austrian, should have already seen long ago. Places like Castle Neuschwanstein, the capitol of Tyrol, the top of the highest mountain of Austria and so forth.
But there’s another side too. It’s not just about making plans. It’s also about…the foundation of everything. In the weeks before the visit I increasingly realized that I had actually no real idea at all about how to handle all of this. Sure, Austrian friends visiting for a few days – I know that well. We speak the same language, we share the same humour, we likely also use the very same products and facilities at home. But hosting guests from Japan? Speaking English continuously for several days? Preparing for all the countless everyday differences between our countries (which I actually and ironically love so much when I am in Japan) – I wasn’t prepared at all for any of that. No experience at all. Being a host isn’t easy. Something that became, more than ever, clearer to me in the days before my guest arrived.
Time passed quickly and so I found myself welcoming my guest in Salzburg at the end of July. A wonderfully surreal experience for my little heart again. The first thing I had to say was “Gosh, this feels so very different now that I see you standing you right in between the Alps!”. At the very same time I also thought: “Gosh, and this also fesls so very similar to when I first met Sarah in person in Rhode Island!” (which happend, by the way, almost two years ago – time passes so quickly!)
In hindsight, it amuses me to realize how quickly that initial surreal feeling transformed into something entirely normal. How my insecurity and nervousness were alleviated by mutual openness and appreciation. And how subtly all of this grew and unfolded without me consciously noticing at the time.
It was, in any case, a deeply moving and beautiful time. The worries and fears I had conjured up beforehand rarely materialized. Any problems and hurdles that did arise turned into cheerful, shared adventures, vivid memories and anecdotes. Shared laughter is something I miss dearly.
In the end, something else remains: the personal experience of being a host. Knowing what it’s like when someone doesn’t just stay for a few days but over a week. Sharing so much time together. Growing closer, valueing each other’s presence. Feeling the weight of responsibility. Realizing the importance of easygoing-ness and occasional downtime too. The joy of finally being able to give something back. How beautiful, yet exhausting, all of this is. The ambivalence after the departure – enjoying solitude but also feeling its lonely side. Saying goodbye. The feeling of absence when someone leaves. Since then, all of this has taken on a completely different quality for me. I can now, more than ever, imagine how Sarah might have felt as my host in the U.S. – again, nearly two unbelievably years ago.
That post’s picture of the still life from within my car captures it quite well: I felt sad and exhausted like the Gundam robot. Joyfully playful like the Pac-Man machine. Grateful, surprised, and reminiscent of the rainy days during that vacation like Totoro. And still excited and laughing like the little red dragon figure from Japan. A good, benevolent “end” so to say.