100* Sakura Season

fog in the air
petals on the ground
cherry blossom scent

What a surprise that a post about cherry blossoms would come not from Stefan in Tokyo, but from Sarah in humble little Rhode Island. Yes, we have sakura here too, though they don’t draw crowds and I’ve never seen people admiring them. Probably it’s because there usually aren’t very many of them together in one place, and they are often in unassuming locations, like these that are found in a local “lifestyle shopping center,” whatever that means. I’m fortunate enough that I drive through this little intersection every day, and seeing these blossoms at their peak is breathtaking, despite the ordinariness of the surrounding environment.

Wishing Stefan a very happy 100th post! What an accomplishment that we haven’t missed a single week. We’re coming up on 2 years of Photograf*in. Prost to that!
乾杯

FG5J+22 Wakefield, South Kingstown, RI

099* Wallfacer

Mid Jetlag. One of the many conclusions: All’s a traveling Circus, on the move. Lacking a true home, having many instead. No matter where you go, there you are.* No, no. Don’t say where we are! Once we know where we are, then the world becomes as narrow as a map. When we don’t know, the world feels unlimited.** Fear ist the strongest emotion, the strongest motivation is love! If a man violates the law of love, he’s punished by one of his strongest instincts.***

* Buckaroo Banzai, ** Liu Cixin, *** Rainer Werner Fassbinder

4XWG+H98 Wels

098* A Certain Base-Level Mania

I don’t know what else to say except to mention that I wish my recent posts here were a bit more exciting.
I went on vacation last week and kept myself a little too busy. I didn’t take any time to relax until Day 7 of my time off. That’s a struggle I’m working through: always taking on too much work, not giving myself enough time for play.
By the Saturday of my vacation, I was exhausted. I went for a little hike in the woods, but didn’t think to take a photo for the blog. Later in the evening, I arrived at home and got to working on a new project of mine. I realized I needed to capture something for my post, and so I decided to show the behind-the-scenes of my process of working on this project.
As you can see, I’m still a bit old-school in my way of working. I have 4 old 80s&90s thesauruses, a nice little handmade notebook, a simple ballpoint pen, and film negatives. Who needs digital?
The project is taking photos on a particular camera (my Holga or sometimes a Polaroid SX70), writing haiku, and matching the poems and photographs together as a harmonious story. It’s quite an enjoyable process, but not too exciting.
Just another day in the busy life of Sarah.

 

GHP7+V2 North Kingstown, Rhode Island
(the location of my undocumented hike)

097* In the End, Fuji’s just another Mountain, ain’t it?

It’s been just over a week since I arrived in Japan. This is my third time having the privilege to immerse myself in this country.

Here and now, more than ever, at this very moment it would be a Haiku that would be more than just appropriate to go hand in hand with the above picture. One like Sarah loves so much to write. One that skillfully weaves together all the feelings, all the impressions, the “alienness”, the comfort, the inspiration, the Wanderlust, the Fernweh – of course the laughter too and all the indescribable contrasts of that place over here. In just a few lines of text hopefully. Precise enough to leave ample space between the words for one’s own thoughts and experiences. Whether they stem from personal encounters in this country or, as it was for me for a long time, from a longing for this culture and its uniqueness. My Haiku would probably speak of the pace of life here. How many things are wonderfully slow over here. It would mention the noise and sensory overload, yet highlight how quiet it can be amidst the megacity. And it would conclude that laughter, tears, and Google Translate can overcome many of the numerous cultural and language barriers – not too bad at least.

Or would I choose a completely different Haiku? One that sketches traveling itself. Embracing the unfamiliar, losing control, and a certain level of helplessness. How it’s those – often completely unwanted and undesired – things that lead to discovering oneself anew. And how Japan, time and again, takes you by the hand to deal with all of that…without words. Just so.

I don’t know. And that’s okay.

 

 

About the photo: it’s of course a very obvious nod to Sarah’s last post. Once again, a bridge that spans thousands of miles or kilometers and several oceans, illustrating for me how different (everybody’s) paths can be. Literally and figuratively. Concrete, dust, yellow lines, no lines, moss, grass, uphill, downhill, nohill, straight or meandering. Whatever. Here too, as Sarah described in her post last week, it’s walking, wandering, letting myself drift that’s moving my spirit. Reflecting on the past, viewing problematic aspects from new angles, listening deeply to life, imagining and feeling new paths to think, dream and go. The photo was taken in the hinterlands of Arashiyama, the home of Tsukihashi Wataru. I can’t leave him unmentioned. He’s the local yuru-kyara here – a tourist mascot, to whom I feel curiously deeply connected. Tsukihashi Wataru is rather obscure, almost disturbing. Many Japanese cannot decide whether he is cute or repulsive. He is white, looks like a botched ghost, and carries on his back a replica of the locally famous and eponymous wooden bridge. Tsukihashi Wataru has two very special traits. His sensitivity and vulnerability, which he expresses by repeatedly asking politely that, please, no one should walk over his bridge recklessly, because it could not just break the railings but also his heart. And then there’s his characteristic of always being a bit uncertain and unsecure. Generally ending his social media messages with a shy “Sumimasen”, apologizing in advance for whatever might happen or has happened. Nobody knows why he does it but that’s okay as well. He’s quite like me.

 

Regarding the title of the post: It’s one of my favorite movie quotes from the film “Hanami – Cherry Blossoms” by the female German filmdirector Doris Dörrie. The film deals with themes such as transience, longing, and the unpredictability of life in general. But above all it tells the story of the catharsis of the male main character, who, until the death of his wife, had led a rather narrow-minded yet well-kept existence in rural Bavaria. To overcome his grief, he decides to visit his expatriated son in Tokyo – the place his wife had always wanted to travel to, but which he had always successfully dissuaded her from with statements like the one in the title of this blog post. Only through her death he not only dares but he has to travel far, far away to Japan only to be changed forever…

 

2M89+MX Kyōto, Präfektur Kyōto, Japan

096* Discipline of Daily Practice

There is a list of things I wish I could do every day:
drawing, photography, meditation, weightlifting, writing–to list my favorites.
But there’s always an excuse, some reason why I can’t do these things all the time. Really, there isn’t enough time in a day for me to be able to do all the things I love every day, while still working a full time job. That’s okay.

Despite all the excuses, all the work I have to do, the responsibilities I have, the plans and commitments, there actually is one thing that I am disciplined enough to do each and every day.

As simple as it is, I walk. Every day. One mile or more.
In rain, in snow, in heat, in the dark. There is no excuse, other than illness or injury, that keeps me from getting out there for a walk.
Today is day 56 of consecutive walking days. I have had much longer streaks than that.
I walk around my neighborhood. I walk around my side job’s client’s neighborhoods. I walk at the beach. In the woods. In towns. In cities. If given the choice between driving and walking, I walk.
Walking is my zen time. It is my exercise, my meditation, my creative practice. I often write haiku or take photos on my walks. Sometimes I stop to draw. I think of things I can write about, I think of nothing at all. I don’t think about work. I listen to the birds, the waves, the passing traffic. Rarely, I will listen to music with one earbud. Occasionally I might talk on the phone, but only with really special people.

Today it downpoured. It’s windy. The path was flooded, the streams were raging. My socks got wet. My pants and jacket were soaked. But I walked more than 2 miles, and would have kept going had I not been breaking in a new pair of rainboots.

Some days are harder than others to get out there. But I never feel bad after a walk. Would you like to join me?

 

FG3F+GM5 South Kingstown, Rhode Island

095* Two Thoughts

“An outstanding sentence truly as wise as a saying from any calendar.” This is one of those classically cynical reactions we have in German when one reads or is told a supposed piece of wisdom that only, at first glance (and even then often only briefly), appears to be well-thought-out and supersmart. Well, last Saturday I’ve experienced exactly that with myself. Recently, when I was at the base of the Traunstein, hoping to maybe catch a beautiful reflection of the mountain massif in the water, it happened.

Thought number one: when it’s stormy, when there’s hardly any sun, when everything’s grey, rain’s pouring down, and the water surface is accordingly agitated…then the chances for a usable photo with a nice reflection are almost certainly zero. Immediately thought number two followed in the same second: …and in a way, it’s the same with us humans. Stormy conditions, breezy circumstances, little light anywhere – all factors that significantly complicate or even make reflecting thoughts, emotions and whatnot nearly impossible.

Calendar saying – yes or no? I don’t know. I’ll leave the final verdict up for anybody who’s reading my two sponteanous thoughts. What matters far more to me is that Mount Traunstein has been a source of inspiration for me once again. As last time, it’s time to say it again: old stoney friend…take care…I’ll see you in three weeks again!

 

WR34+VG9 Gmunden

 

094* a clean slate

New Years is the time when most people think about new beginnings, starting fresh, setting goals, and creating new habits. But truthfully, every day is a fresh start. Not just every day, but each moment we have a chance to start anew.

Remember this the next time you feel that twinge of sadness, the feeling that things aren’t going well. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you emerge, a new moment will be there, waiting for you to move with it.

It’s almost spring. Yet another blank page is presenting itself. Make something beautiful!

093* I will lay me down

There are long ones. There are high ones. Across rivers, across imposing Alpine valleys. There are ones made out of concrete, ancient ones from the times of the Roman empire that are made of stone, wooden ones and more and more that are made of robust steel. Most of them are solid, built for the ages. Some of them are flexible and swinging. The big ones: for cars. The smaller ones: for pedestrians, bikers and – not to forget – cows. Some have a backstory that was filled with strong enthusiasm, the spirit of renewal. Welcomed structures to overcome wild geographic obstacles. Some, may they never be forgotten, were built under different conditions. Forced Labor. Autobahnen. Dark times. Very dark times. This one above is my favourite one right now. Strange angles meet a pretty unique style that actually contains two interlocking frameworks. Well-built and not too pretentious. I really it. I really like bridges.

 

676C+JGC Ansfelden

*091 A Story of Chemical Toilets, Cardinal Ximénez and…Compassion

This week, I’ve actually maneuvered myself into quite a peculiar dilemma. I was firmly committed to my plan to follow up my past few, emotionally heavy, word-laden blog posts with something completely different. For balance so to say. What I had in mind was some kind of follow-up post that not only had nothing to do with my previous ones but which didn’t have any need for a meaning or a  punchline. One that existed without any context to anything. A leightweighted one that was able to lift the heavyness behind rationality, even if only for a brief moment. A post that should also arrive here as unexpected as the Spanish Inquisition (not the real one, but the one from the Monty Python sketch) and that featured one of my many, strangely-awkward, a little funny but totally unexplainable associations of my mind (like how that place from the photo above somehow always reminds me of an old, mystical elephant graveyard). A post that’s short and sweet. With a dash of Dadaism. Exciting in taste, somewhat funny on swallowing, and above all: easy to digest.

But then the unexpected happend, things changed. It is said that in life everything is interconnected, relates to each other. People, their stories – everything. I couldn’t agree more. After reading Sarah’s last, deeply personal blog post, my original idea no longer felt right. In any way. I simply couldn’t and didn’t want to leave Sarah and her post standing there alone and unadressed – like, yes, like a solitary porta-potty on a vast, open storage site.

A transformation was needed. Urgently.

How could I bid farewell to my original idea, perhaps approach it from a whole new direction instead, and thus create a new connection, contact with Sarah’s post – without making the whole of it feel ridiculous or even trivial. Where is that one, probably very small, intersection? Between the emotions of Sarah’s post, my reaction after reading it, my strange photo, and maybe also my original idea to maintain a certain balance between all of it. How can deeply personal memories, the moving act of retracing steps and the mood of Ichigo Ichie go together with a rainy-day photo of dozens of Austrian chemical toilets – in a way that has some warmhearted, lightweighted, meaningful and – above all – truly compassionate outcome?

It has taken me longer once again. Until the essence of the matter came to light. And until it felt “right”. Somewhat “right”……

What’s going on here is something deeply human and personal. A story as life is, as life happens. The usual gets interrupted. A sudden change of situations. Urgency, Tension. No more holding it in. Something that needs to be dealt with carefully. Preferrably alone. Just by oneself. Certainly in a safe place. Some kind of shelter. A discreet place of tranquility, peace and quietness. A place that’s fine for such deeply human encounters and personal needs. Letting go of things. Lightness. Peace.

What happens next is even harder to put into words: one hears a cautious, gentle and respectful knocking from outside. No, it’s not an intruder – it’s an ally, a friend. No harm at all. Just understanding. The oldschool, altruistic kind. The lock’s undone from the inside, the door gets opened a tiny crack wide. Alright, now it’s obvious what was missing all along. It’s not something that’s life-saving per se but something that’s…that’s crucial nevertheless – particularily in such vulnerable and sensitive situations. Carefully, without any piercing glances and again with respect and silent sympathy something gets passed inside: a fresh roll of toilet paper. For those in need.

“As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.” John Candy

“Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch…the comfy chair!” Cardinal Ximénez of the Spanish Inquisition

53G4+XPP Wels