when will i feel better? i just want to get back to normal!
am i even improving?
why don’t i feel well yet? it’s been weeks!
i want to go out photographing. i want to go to the gym.
i want to take a sunset stroll on the beach. i want to go for a hike. i want to walk around the city. i want to walk around town.
what a bummer to feel this way.
at least there’s the hope that someday i will feel better. some people don’t even have that.
Lots of thoughts. Some days I feel better, some worse. Every day I’m tired, weary, fatigued.
On “My Saturday,” I decided to go to Galilee. I planned on walking around the beach and the town, taking photos of the sunset and the full moon rise. I was so looking forward to it–it’s been weeks since I got to take photos. It’s good for my soul to have my camera in hand.
But… I was just too tired. I had been coughing all day. I knew if I tried to walk anywhere, it would be too much for me. I sat in my car in the beach parking lot, watching the sun reach towards the horizon, feeling disappointed.
Then I decided, as I often do, to make the best of things. I started the car and drove down the street. The wonderful thing about where I live is you don’t have to go far to find beauty. I pulled over on the side of the road, bundled up in my winter hat and scarf, and took it all in. No walking, no pushing myself. Just a roadside view that gets passed by hundreds of people every day as they zoom down the road towards the ferry. I surprised myself by taking 7 photos. Once the sun dipped below the horizon, I got back in the car and drove away.
While I want to feel better, of course, I suppose I should use this time to rest. Perhaps it’s the universe’s way of telling me to slow down and take it easy. Admittedly, I have a habit of taking on too much. Though I’m eager to get back to my normal routine, I’m going to try to enjoy this in some way. It’s easy enough to be sad for no good reason; can we be happy for no good reason too?