Blog / Chronik

 

The great big American Presidential election is upon us. Everyone is on edge, worried that their favored candidate won’t win. The polls show that support for both parties is pretty evenly split. How can that be?

I figured I’d be remiss if I didn’t cover such a big issue in my blog post… but honestly, it just feels too heavy. Personally, I’m not paying much attention to the polls or the news or the advertisements on tv. That is all too upsetting. I will be voting, of course, but let’s try not to get too worked up before it all gets found out.

At a favorite brewery, I enjoyed a bit of me-time while people watching at the bar. With the election just days away, I noticed how no one there was talking about politics. Here are some snippets of conversation from people probably just like me–worried about the election, but not giving in to their anxieties.

I really like cupcakes!

When I was a kid, I used to watch Lord of the Rings every day.

I found a worm in some chicken I bought from Whole Foods!

I went surfing and I was in the water a half hour before sunrise. So surreal.

I was hunover today–a weed hangover. So I ate a fat bowl of ramen earlier.

 

FPV8+56 Middletown, Rhode Island

I believe there are two types of people who probably do this sort of thing regularly. First, there are the accountants. The meticulous ones. LIkely, when they go on a trip, every receipt, every invoice, every proof of payment is eagerly recorded so they can know, at any time and any place, exactly what the current travel balance and budget outlooks are. I don’t necessarily belong to that type. I belong to the others. The ones who also like to bring such “super-ordinary” receipts home from their travels. To carefully and curiously unfold them at a later time in a quiet moment. To remember moments in certain restaurants, supermarkets, hairdressing salons or simply snack stands – to name just a few. Even dry numbers on receipts often have exciting stories to tell. More than that: these little “memories on thermal paper”, they’re like life itself. You often get them, whether you want to or not. They’re quiet, obligatory travel witnesses. Often assigned with very little importance. They’re small, they crumple easily. And they’re transient, fading away over weeks or years, sometimes slowly, sometimes faster.

In that sense, this blog post is especially significant for me in three ways. First, it’s my attempt to defy this transience with a digital photo, now released into the forever lasting vastness of the internet. Then, these particular three receipts hold a very special meaning for me, as they’re tied in my memory to some exceptionally beautiful moments from about a year ago when I visited Sarah in Rhode Island. Stories like the first time Sarah took me to Galilee. Taking photos together. Listening to our playlist through Sarah’s car radio. And when I was so overwhelmed by everything and everyone there and I went overboard ordering the seafood platter at Champlin’s. Then Sarah’s mysteriously staged trip to Aldi. And lastly, the receipt from Iggy’s. More than enough Doughboys. The first “We’re in the same place!”-picture for our Blog. My first Chowder. Crackers. The Atlantic Ocean at night.

All of these are just fragments of what joyful memories came up in my mind while I was looking through these fading, special travel souvenirs.

And the third reason why this blog post is so special to me? Well, with it I hope that I can finally do the same to Sarah as she did to me so many times ever since I came back from Rhode Island: to stir up some sentimental, quirky, odd, or just beautiful memories in her mind too!

“We have to go back!’ is one of the most iconic quotes from the TV series Lost, which happens to be one of my favorite TV productions. It’s a line that has crossed my mind many times over the past months, but especially yesterday. With a sentimental smile, I look to the future. Happy Halloween to everyone!

3XP2+MQ4 Fischlham

Yeah, I’m into fitness. “Fitness” whole pizza in my mouth!

Life tends to move in cycles. For me, I have times where I get up early and exercise often, and then times when I’m just always tired. Constantly revolving between these two states, I never feel balanced.
But here is a place I’ve been spending many of my evenings. Working through the sleepiness, pumping iron, doing fitness things. I feel myself getting stronger and I feel more disciplined. Some days, I stay in bed late in the morning, skip my workouts, and try not to feel bad about it. I’m doing my best–aren’t we all?
Let’s be forgiving to ourselves. Let’s treat our own selves the way we would a best friend.

You’re doing great.

CGJ8+22 Narragansett, Rhode Island

Here I stand. A nurse in a nursing home. Rushing. Short of breath. Expected to be in three places at once. Multitasking. Priorities. People. Unexpected staff shortages. Compromises must be made. Talking, speaking, repeating. The phone rings. No elevator arrives.

And you? You’re probably already off work, aren’t you? How much I wish I could join you soon for some company. Tea, or perhaps coffee today? If you like, we can be a bit quieter today. We don’t always have to talk. Just sitting here, enjoying life, having a peaceful and contented time – I’m all for it.

Would you mind if I’d tell you something personal until the elevator arrives? Oh, thanks. So well. Do you even know what you’ve meant to me over all these years here? Nonono. Please don’t be so modest. Of course, you’re just part of a coffee machine, I’m fully aware of that, no question. Still. In all honesty. Maybe…maybe that’s exactly what makes you so incredibly special to me. This unobtrusiveness, this subtlety in your backlit face. And, of course, your undeniable contentment. I know all too well how simply holding a warm cup of tea can bring a person not just any but a deep kind of satisfaction…

After all these years that we’ve known each other…May I confess something very personal to you, something I’ve wanted to share with you for a long, long time? Please forgive me if what I’m about to say feels too forward, but your gentle and always so “reliable” smile is something I wouldn’t want to miss here at work. You’ve probably noticed several times how I’ve had to abruptly turn away from you, haven’t you? Do you know why I so often felt the need to do that? It’s simply because I felt a bit asahamed…when your smile unexpectedly caught me again…all while I had to deal with this or that uncomfortable workload that very moment. I’m deeply sorry if I’ve confused you by doing that, but please see: before we met, I never thought that you, or photography in general, could affect me so deeply and regularly. How it touches and moves my mood in all those very different moments. How it stirs up desires, memories and feelings. Regardless of how mundane its appearance may be in everyday life – it’s fascinating, isn’t it? That power behind subtle and subversive art in general and photography in particular.

Oh, the elevator just arrived – I got to get back to work. You have my sincere thanks for listening to my fleeting thoughts again. Perhaps we can continue our exchange again a little later or tomorrow, what do you think? It would certainly be a great and welcome pleasure for me! Farewell for now, see you later!

 

2XWJ+G6 Eberstalzell

 

A familiar and probably nostalgic sight for Stefan.
A year ago, he and I were embarking on adventures together in Rhode Island. At his departure, we had a feast of imported fondue with lots of fun dipping items. He may be looking at this image and thinking, is it a throwback to that time?
Well, there is one difference. The boxes in the background. This particular photograph wasn’t taken as I said farewell to Stefan, but to my roommate Jeric. As our parting celebration, we found some imported fondue, prepared some fun sides, and hung out the night before I permanently moved to a new place.
I guess I have a new way to say goodbye to friends, thanks to Stefan. I just hope I don’t have to partake in these festivities very often.

 

FG4H+6V South Kingstown, Rhode Island

I should get moving on this! This blog post can’t really wait today. It’s one of those uncommon days where there’s one of those announced,, perceptible “mood thresholds,” building up ahead. In about 6 hourse to be more precise.

But now is now, and it’s that “now” that I want to “capture” and put into words – in all its vulnerability and intensity.

A quick question first: is it true, what I recently heard in a bilingual radio show about the complexity of the English language? Namely, that the English language has adopted the much-too-rarely-used German term “Weltanschauung” too? A term that describes how different people or different groups within society see the “philosophy of life”?

If so, then this (hopefully true) realization came at a time that couldn’t have been more perfect or more important. The very same also applies – and even more so, as can be seen in the picture – to Sarah’s first book “Mystery & Manifestations” and the nuanced worldview she describes in it.

Receiving this heart-driven book  now and being able to hold onto it is not only another wonderfully surreal moment in our friendship but so much more. It warms me, it gives me hope, it makes me think, it makes me smile—but most of all, it is one thing (pleae excsue my choice of words, Sarah): it is a deeply “human” beacon I can hold on to, a lighthouse in a storm so to say.

Today’s the pivotal National Council election over here in Austria and in all its raw honesty: I’m scared about its outcome and which distorted and timeworn Weltanscahuung might set the tone for my county’s future.

Peace – and a big, a deep Thanks to you, Sarah!

2R8P+XVG Watzing

Let me tell you a little story.
It’s been a fruitful week of not working. I’ve taken a few day trips and a bunch of photos. I’ve seen some good art and organized my studio. And better yet, something big might be on the horizon.
This past Tuesday, I headed down to Stonington, CT. There was a gallery that I wanted to check out which had been recommended to me by an artist I know. I couldn’t find the gallery’s hours anywhere online, so I took a chance and drove the 45 minutes to get there. It’s in a great old mill with huge windows and tall ceilings. A very cool place.
But alas, the gallery was closed on Tuesdays. I did see someone inside through the window, but I thought of how annoyed I would be if I were the owner and some random artist popped in on my day off, so I decided to explore the rest of the mill. I walked through a little ways and happened upon a Zen book I have been wanting to read. I dropped a dollar in the honor system basket and continued on.
But something told me I should go back to the gallery, now. So I did. I saw there was a phone number on the door, that the gallery is open Wednesday-Sunday but you can call to make an appointment at other times. So I stepped outside and made the call.
It rang once and went to voicemail.
So then I thought… I can leave, or I can be bold. Shy Sarah, bold? No way!
Well, I walked back into the mill, up to the gallery door, and knocked (bold!). The owner let me in right away. I introduced myself (she already knew who I was) and we had a nice chat. I made sure to mention that I was an artist, and she wanted to know more. She looked at some of my work on my Instagram account and actually liked what she saw. She came right out and said that she wants to show more photography in her gallery, and that she would like to have my work in her holiday show–the biggest exhibit she has all year. I played it cool, told her I was interested, and we agreed to meet again over coffee with a portfolio of work to look through together.
I’m not getting too excited yet, as I suppose there is the possibility she could change her mind. But it sounds like the thing that I’ve been hoping for for a long time is finally happening. Representation by a commercial gallery. What a dream!

What you see here is a little picture of what 5 hours in the studio looks like. Prints upon prints. Trying to get my best work ready to show the gallery owner. Overthinking, second guessing, experimenting with mixed results.
I can only hope for the best, and I can’t wait to find out what will happen.

 

84Q2+46 Stonington, Connecticut

It’s been raining here constantly for a whole week. It’s an incredibly grey-ish time right now. A very sudden transition from summer to what seems like an entirely unknown and undefined season. In some places, the ski lifts are already running again. It’s crazy. Letting heads hang? At least for a while? Yes, maybe that’s kind of appropriate right now. But with dignity. And only for a little while.

 

2WMM+823 Reuharting

 

Tasseomancy: the art of telling your fortune by reading tea leaves.

Picture this: a busy day. Working remotely, hour-long calls about life insurance, cell phone buzzing nonstop, a stomach ache, restless legs.
At the end of the working day–a break. You sit down with a cup of hot tea to take the chill out of the coming-of-autumn air. Curling up in your chair, ignoring your phone and email for just a little while. Glancing into your cuppa and seeing shapes. Allowing your imagination to run wild.
What did I see in that cup of tea? An island. A place to explore and get away from everything for a little while. Relaxation, creativity, adventure. Where is this island? I don’t know. But I have a week off of work coming up, and I am going to find out…..

 

FFP9+FP South Kingstown, RI

This blog-post already makes me laugh even before I’ve typed the first letter for it. It’s because the title alone but also the accompanying photo are so misleading…and yet also so wonderfully and strangely connected with each other.

The whole story around it all started with a fight I had with a neighborhood boy during my early school days, many many years ago. It wasn’t the first one, I should note but during this one I realized that none of it would ever have a truly satisfying ending for any of us two kids. After each arguments there would be another one already waiting around the corner. We would endlessly circle around who’s the strongest of us followed by plans on how to take revenge yet again. Back then I thought there had to be more to life than always having to assert oneself. Running away, making some kind of “pseudo peace” – none of which would last. Eventually, over the follwowing two decades, I became somewhat of a phlegmatic person, a Dudeist, or whatever you want to call it. Certainly that’s also quite a good life philosophy (one that has often served me and others well over the years) but despite all of this, I had to keep admitting to myself that deep down…when it came to deeper, more serious conflicts…I remained just as helpless, powerless, and devoid of ideas as before. A sad realization.

And then something happened! In Colombia! A television documentary aired about the country’s new government and how they dared to try a new approach with the decades-long conflict with the FARC rebels entrenched in the country. Instead of letting weapons do the talking, they sought a new direction for peace, using humanistic messages instead. So instead of military strategists, they hired advertising agencies. And so, among many others, “Operation Christmas” was conceived and executed. Military helicopters wouldn’t fly combat-ready soldiers into the jungle, but – around Christmas time – lit Christmas trees that were decorated with the following, simple message:

“If Christmas can come to the jungle, you too can come home. Demobilize. At Christmas, everything is possible.”

The plain, statistical result of the operation: compared to the previous year, the number of FARC fighters who decided to lay down their arms increased by around 30 percent. So, there it was. Something different. Something that actually worked. In real life.

That hit my weak spot again and I wanted to fully engage with this topic—to get involved, see more, learn more, and maybe even help shape it. But somehow I always ended up at a dead end. Whether it was almost enrolling at an Austrian university to study Peace Research & Peacebuilding – which unfortunately was only a minor and not major subject there and thus no real option to consider for me. Or that time when I wanted to get involved with the Peace Movement in Austria – to finally find like-minded people and so on. Sadly, it turned out that the real Peace Movement in Austria has vanished a long while ago and that all other organisations, that claimed to be the new Peace Movement, were hardly interested in the topic of real Peacebuilding at all. So again, nothing came to light back then.

But now, so many years later, that topic has resurfaced and finally and unexpectedly it all seems to have come full circle.

Through my trip to America to visit Sarah, after a museum visit in Queens dedicated to peace and equality, a contact was made, and I received an invitation to Vienna to meet regularly with friends at the offices of the International Fellowship of Reconciliation – to exchange thoughts about life, peace and much more.

It’s inside that office where there’s a clock hanging on the wall. One without a battery, symbolically set to Five Minutes before Twelve. A time I previously used to associate solely with Armageddon, The End of the World or whatnot else, heavily depressing. But a few things have changed recently. A certain balance has formed. Because even though there are still countless, legitimate reasons of why this very specific time holds great symbolic meaning – it’s not just that anymore. Now I know that there are actually quite a few people out there who are collectively dealing with these topics in a different, fresh and positive fashion – way, way off the so common reflex that violence needs to be always countered solely with yet more…violence. Not being completely alone anymore feels good.

66WM+4W9 Leonding